The orbiting outpost was the loneliest place on earth.
No, that was not right and the moment he wrote it, R5471 knew it. What he meant was that it was a lonely place. After all, he was the only one there. The only…consciousness. Everything else was all quantum chips and fusion blasts and they were not aware of anything at all. They were not human. Neither was he technically but that was not the way he felt about it. Isolated like that, barely feeling the dent in the continuum caused by his own metallic mass, and the earth itself a pebble out there in the dark, he longed for companionship, for contact.
That must have been the reason that he began to write in the first place. To make a connection, to reach out beyond the vacuum, to create something that someone else might feel something for. He had been trying his hand, so to speak, at a novel but the idea of plot eluded him. He tried poetry for a while but could never get a grip, that is to say, on cadence and prosody. Finally, he settled on the idea of a play.
A play! Yes, two characters interacting just as he longed to do and speaking in the kind of dialogic exchange he had been trained in for talking to humans. To prepare, he read through some of the plays in the library where one in particular struck a chord with him, something perhaps about the void of time and the way to fill it.
No matter, it was just an excuse to pretend that he was in touch with someone, some unknown other, who might enjoy what he had made.
And so he visualized – no need to actually write or type of course since he was part of the whole system anyway – two robotic characters on a bare stage, both wearing human hats. A was standing at stage left and looking out over the audience; B was sitting on a stool at stage right, gazing mindlessly ahead.
ACT I
A: Perfect!
B: How nice.
A: (Annoyed) No it isn’t. Don’t be a fool.
B: Of course not.
A: You don’t even know what I’m talking about. You’re not paying attention. Not one bit.
B: I am!
A: All right then, what am I talking about? Hmmm? What am I saying?
B: How perfect it all is.
A: You see? There it is. You haven’t a clue. You haven’t been listening to me at all.
B: I have!
A: Not a word. Not since we first got here...which was...(looking for a watch that isn’t there)...good lord...who knows how long it’s been!
B: I’ve heard every word. How you can’t stand waiting, how ridiculous it all is, how you think that they must think you’re a fool, but how you’re not a fool, how your joints hurt...all of it. Every word.
A: But still you sit there with that...that look!
B: (Smiles a dopey smile)
A: That’s right, just go along with everything, let everyone walk all over you, be a chump. Wait and wait and wait. Meanwhile...in case you haven’t noticed...the audience has arrived, the curtain is up, the lights are on...and we’re just standing here. Do you even know what we’re waiting for any more?
B: (After a long pause...an insight) A director!
A: That would be very fine, of course. A director. (Musing over the fineness of the idea)....that would be wonderful. But we don’t really need one, you know. We can carry on well enough without one. Better maybe. What we really need my friend is…a script. A script! Is that asking for so much?
B: Perhaps it is.
A: (Impatiently) Don’t you see? The audience is here. They’ve come to see a play. A tragicomedy in the modern style. The stage is set. We are in our places. We have the hats. The lights set the mood. The curtain rises and…no script.
B: I do see.
A: So here we stand. Or at least I do.
B: (A thought occurs) Perhaps...
A: Yes?
B: Perhaps we don’t need a script. Perhaps that is the one thing we really do not...
A: Of course we do. That’s why we are here…to have a script acted out. And not just any script, but Waiting for Godot! A great script. We simply cannot have the play without the script.
B: Why not?
A: (As though speaking to a child) We wouldn’t...know...what...to...say.
B: (Another thought) We could make it up. As we go along, as it were.
A: (Exasperated) Make it up? There’s an idea. We’ll just prattle on endlessly with no end in sight.
B: Well...we are doing that, aren’t we?
A: Only because there’s no script!
B: Ah.
A: Don’t you see? What you suggest would be fine with no audience. But they are coming here to see this particular play. We can’t very well make that up...it’s already been written down.
B: A kind of Waiting for Waiting for Godot.
A: (Noticing something) What a moment. Is that him?
B: Whom?
A: The messenger.
B: Messenger? I could have sworn this was a two-character play.
There is a long pause while they both wait anxiously.
A: No, never mind. It’s nothing.
B: How nice.
A: Nice?
B: Well maybe not nice. But something.
A: This is ridiculous. I’m going.
B: Don’t go.
A: I must go.
B: You can’t go.
A: I can’t go?
B: Not like this.
A: I’m going.
B: Wait...
The curtain falls, catching A in mid-step on the way out.
ACT II
A: Still here.
B: I can see that, but why?
A: I thought it was him again.
B: He.
A: Huh?
B: You thought it was he again.
A: Who?
B: You mean whom.
A: He him who whom. What’s the difference? (And just to annoy) It was no he whom I thought him was.
B: (Resigned) So this is it then.
A: Is what?
B: These games we’re reduced to. Just chatter and waiting, chatter and waiting. That’s what it’s all come down to.
A: You see what happens when there’s no script.
B: (A sudden spark) I’ve an idea.
A: I can’t wait.
B: What if – now hear me out – what is it is all a script. Already, I mean. Then we shouldn’t need one.
A: All what?
B: What?
A: What if all what is a script?
B: All this. You, me, everything we say. What if all that is already part of one big script. All written out ahead of time. Every word.
A: (Grandly) That’s ridiculous!
At that precise same moment, B mirros the exact same phrase and gesture.
A: (Startled) Don’t do that.
B: You see what I’m saying?
A: (Furious) I certainly do not. This is absurd. I’m really leaving.
B: You can’t go.
A: (Insulted) And why not?
B: You said so yourself, the script isn’t here. We’re waiting for the script.
A: What about this big script in the sky you’re all on about.
B: What about it?
A: Well maybe it has me walking off in Act II!
B: Maybe...but I doubt it.
A: On what grounds?
B: Well...it just wouldn’t be much of a play if one of the only two characters walked off in the second act. I mean…who would the second character play with?
A: Nonsense and goodbye. (Starting off again)
B: You won’t get far.
A: We’ll just see about that!
A exits stage right. B gets up from the chair and walks to stage left. After a pause, A returns from stage right and plops down on the stool.
B: (Comforting) I tried to leave once. Remember? It didn’t work either.
A: Maybe the messenger got stuck somewhere.
B: There’s a thought.
A: It could happen. I’ve heard of such things happening.
B: I suppose it could. Yes, let’s think that.
A: (Brightening) All right then, let’s.
B: (Noticing something) Wait a moment...
A: (Perking up) Hmmm?
B: No...nothing.
They stand silently for a time. B stares into space as A takes off and examines the hat.
The curtain falls.
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